so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
