I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
