My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
