so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
