she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
