I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
