i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
