I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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