so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
