it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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