i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
