This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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