Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
