Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
