I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
