Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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