Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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