I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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