just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
