i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
