Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
