i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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