And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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