She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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