oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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