was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
