I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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