I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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