You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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