Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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