im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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