We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
