i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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