It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
