if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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