there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Panties = found
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
