There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She's the barista slut.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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