Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
