Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
