i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
