im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
