It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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