Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
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i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize