i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
