Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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