The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
