"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize