that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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