just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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