gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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