guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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