It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
