You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
