I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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