Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
